Research has shown that the hardest year of the career of a number of men is the year following the birth of their first child.  The instinct to protect and provide has kicked in,  Most agree that, in retrospect it wasn’t necessary.

“For the first year or so, all that babies need are diapers, onesies and a lot of love” – observed one of my colleagues, correctly.  Not a lot of extra money.

But it’s not more money for the first year but for life, for funding the college etc, one might think. 

True, as children grow up, spending increases.  But so does the income of the parent.  This is through natural progression – people have higher incomes as they age – whatever their field of endeavor is. This happens to increased skill, increased reach or increased reputation – natural causes.

OK, maybe it wasn’t necessary, but what’s the harm?  The harm is that we dads tend to be less present for the ‘lots of love’ that the babies need (don’t compare with the with time you didn’t have the baby – compare with what you think is the ideal amount of time with the baby). And it’s not just the baby – your partner needs you around in an unprecedented way, helping and loving them. And finally, some damage to the father’s own emotional state – the studies found that fathers took most time out of leisure pursuits.

The other harm is to your work life itself, sometimes leading to burnout.  Under pressure, new dads make made moves at their work that they might regret.  People who run businesses might make poor business decisions that they might come to regret later.